Enneagram + Poopy Patterns 💩💩💩
We’re all human, right?
We all have our shit. Our patterns. Our autopilot.
So.. why do we get SO wrapped up judging how others live?!?!
I’m not saying it’s just you. I’m calling myself out here, too!!!!! Hard 😅
I (and most of my clients) get SO wrapped up in saying “how could they see it like that?”
WELLLLLL…. What if I told you it comes back to you?
Our Enneagram type likes to convince us of something.
(Also, WHY it happens)
We take that something, and turn it into an expectation for everyone else.
That expectation can… well… not feel so great.
It’s suchhh a frustrating mental loop 🫠
What do I mean??? Here, I’ll show you! All of these patterns below are things we tend to expect others to be doing too.. and get real confused when it’s not their way of doing things, or seeing things.
Please remember: my words aren’t gospel. Take what feels right, chuck out the rest. My only ask? Is for you to challenge yourself to see it before you say ‘nope not me’. Because then? At least you can say you did some observing before deciding what’s true for you or not!
Enneagram is all about the WHY. I’m breaking it into patterns for the people who have already figured out their why (their motivations/enneagram type), but haven’t figured out how it looks in real life.
This blog post should not be used to help you figure out your Enneagram Type because in reality, you might relate to all of them. They aren’t the only way these could show up - it’s for you to uncover about yourself! (or maybe with help wink wink wink)
Bookmark this to come back to when you know your type, and the vague ‘oh thats kinda me’ will start feeling like ‘oh shit……😳"‘
Enneagram 1 - Resentment
Enneagram 1s are motivated by being good, moral, ethical people. Those motivations tell them what to do based on ‘what’s right’. They know what’s right to do, what’s wrong to do, and they can feel irresponsible if they choose the wrong thing. This can turn into a repetitive cycle of resenting other people for not having that feeling. It can be directed at themselves, society, and/or certain close relationships for ‘not knowing better’. 'Why do they get to do _____ while I’m here doing ____?" or “why am I always taking care of things but, they don’t even try?‘ If this pattern goes unchecked, Enneagram 1s might find themselves knee deep in a stress reaction. This could look like melancholia, emotional pain, isolation, and feeling deeply misunderstood.
Enneagram 2 - Flattery
Enneagram 2s are motivated by being liked, loved, wanted, and needed. These motivations tell them how treat others. This can turn into a repetitive cycle of being excessively friendly, hoping to make people feel good/enjoy their presence, and expecting the same friendliness in return. These expectations are usually of their friend group, their community, and/or specific people (even ones they don’t know). ‘wow, they were really cold. why the bad attitude?’ or ‘they didn’t use exclamation marks or emojis, they must be mad at me’. Gone unchecked, Enneagram 2s might find themselves knee deep in a stress reaction, too. This could look like being hot tempered, feeling betrayed/manipulated/used, and better off alone.
Enneagram 3 - Vanity.
Enneagram 3s are motivated by achievements, success, and recognition. These motivations tell them to put their best face forward, no matter what. This can turn into a repetitive cycle of caring more about how things look than how they feel. This vanity can come out in the stereotypical way, through needing to show up as the best partner with the best relationship, or even making sure they aren’t seen as vain and they expect others to care about the same things. ‘I don’t care about how I look, I just care that people know I showed up the best I could.’ or posting on social media ‘Love my person. Love my home. Love my life. They’re the best🩵’ (but, posted specifically when they’re not doing so hot) Left unchecked, Enneagram 3s might find themselves stuck in a stress reaction. This could look like feeling numb, checked out, needing comfort, and going through the motions.
Enneagram 4 - Melancholy
Enneagram 4s are motivated by authenticity, feeling understood, and finding significance in life. These motivations tell them to look for meaning in everything. This can turn into a repetitive pattern of feeling like something is missing in life, in them, or in relationships. ESPECIALLY when they’re not the type to seek meaning like the 4 does. Their melancholia can be expressed through proving they can do anything - even when they feel suffering, by sharing the depths of their pain, or by showing pain through anger. ‘I’m working hard to get back to the feeling I had before.’ or ‘you’ll never understand me! you’ve never understood me.’ Left unchecked, Enneagram 4s can find themselves in a stress reaction. This could look like people pleasing, putting relationships above their health, and feeling unappreciated.
Enneagram 5 - Stinginess
Enneagram 5s are motivated by being independent, useful, and competent. These motivations tell them to pay attention to resources, just in case. This can turn into a repetitive pattern of holding onto whatever they have, and assuming they’ll run out. Their stinginess can feel like needing to reserve energy, money, time, or even holding back the facts until they know ‘enough’ to back it up. It can also become judgment re: others and their inability to save. ‘I just know I’m going to be tired if I do this.’ or ‘I’m fine getting by with less. I’d rather save than be sorry.’ Gone unchecked, Enneagram 5s might find themselves in a stress reaction. This can look like the exact opposite - overspending, overcommitting, and never feeling satisfied.
Enneagram 6 - Cowardice
Enneagram 6s are motivated by feeling safe, secure, and supported. These motivations tell them the more they prep, the better they’ll feel. This can turn into a repetitive pattern of procrastination, and not trusting themselves to be ready enough. Their concerns lead them to seek support from their friend group, their community, and/or rules + guidelines they can trust. But, they also lead them to being frustrated that others aren’t thinking about preparing in the same way. ‘I can’t make this decision. i need your advice.’ or ‘what does the boss/book say is right to do?’ Gone unchecked, Enneagram 6s can get into a stress reaction. This might look like overworking, over focusing on being productive, and caring more about putting their best face forward than their well being.
Enneagram 7 - Planning
Enneagram 7s are motivated by feeling free and satisfied. These motivations tell them the more they have to look forward to, the better they’ll feel. This can turn into a repetitive pattern of overcommitting to plans and burning themselves out. Their planning can come out through their personal calendar, being the groups trip event planner, and/or planning for every experience to be life changing. It can leave them frustrated that others aren’t willing to keep up, though. ‘Tomorrow is going to be rough, but I booked dinner at a new restaurant after work and I can’t wait!’ or ‘This trip is SO GOOD I’m already on expedia.ca figuring out the next one, you in?!’ Left unchecked, Enneagram 7s can find themselves in a stress reaction. This might look like feeling responsible for everything, seeing things going wrong left/right/centre, and judging others (and themselves) for getting things wrong.
Enneagram 8 - Vengeance
Enneagram 8s are motivated by being independent, and in control of their lives. These motivations tell them they have to keep their guard up otherwise people will take advantage, manipulate, or betray them. This can turn into a repetitive pattern of thinking they’re weak if anyone gets away with disrespect, but also OTHERS are weak for letting people treat THEM with disrespect, too. This vengeance can show up like being MORE restrained to keep their personality from this person, letting the group deal with consequences without protection, and/or giving back exactly (or more than) what the other person gave them. ‘They think they can get away with that?’ or ‘It’s okay. I can just watch them try to deal with this on their own. Good luck.’ Left unchecked, Enneagram 8s might find themselves in a stress reaction. This can look like isolating themselves, detaching from emotion, and feeling easily drained.
Enneagram 9 - Indolence/Laziness
Enneagram 9s are motivated by having peace of mind and feeling in harmony with their environment. These motivations tell them to keep themselves small, so they don’t rock the boat and disturb that peace. This can turn into a pattern of thinking they aren’t worth putting effort into, so they don’t. This mental laziness can manifest through physical comfort like zoning out in front of the tv/with a book, being so busy they can’t think about what’s bugging them, or putting their partners preferences way above their own. ‘Of COURSE I help you with that, I’ve got time’ or ‘What do you think, babe?’ Left unchecked, Enneagram 9s can catch themselves in a stress reaction. This might look like overthinking, questioning everything, and convincing themselves the other shoe is gonna drop anytime now.
NONE OF THESE ARE BAD - they’re just good to know.
Have you noticed any of these patterns in yourself?